You Really Can't Match the Jews

A few years ago, Joseph was finally given an exit permit by the Russians and allowed to emigrate to Israel to join his family.

He was told that he could only take what he could pack into one suitcase.

At the Moscow airport he was stopped by an enormous customs officer who glared at him and snarled, "Open the case!"

Joseph opened the case and the Russian rummaged through the meager belongings and pulled out a large bundle wrapped in old copies of Pravda. He unwrapped it to reveal a bust of Stalin and kissed it.

"What is that?" snarled the customs officer.

"What is that?" said Joseph timidly. "You shouldn't ask 'What is that?' - you should ask 'Who is that?' That is our glorious leader Stalin. I'm taking it to my new home to remind me of all the wonderful things that he did and the marvellous life that I am leaving behind."

"I always knew that you Jews were mad!" said the official, tossing the bust into the case. "Go!"

A few hours later Joseph arrived at Ben Gurion airport and was confronted by an Israeli customs officer. "Shalom. Welcome to Israel. Open the case!"

Once again Joseph's belongings were examined and the customs officer came upon the bust. "What is that?" said the customs officer.

"What is that?" said Joseph indignantly. "You shouldn't ask 'What is that?' - you should ask 'Who is that?' That is the bastard, Stalin. I'm taking it to my new home to remind me of all the misery and suffering that he caused me for most of my life. I want to spit on it every day for the rest of my life."

"I always knew that you Russians were mad!" said the official, tossing the bust into the case. "Go!"

At last Joseph arrived in his new home and eventually got around to unpacking, watched by his young nephew. He took out his few clothes and then carefully unwrapped the bust of Stalin and put it on a table.

"Who is that?" asked his nephew.

"Who is that?" said Joseph with a smile. "You shouldn't ask, 'Who is that?' - You should ask, 'What is that?' That is five kilos of gold and a just bit of black shoe polish".

(Courtesy of forwarded mail from David Chen)

The blogger’s most learned e-buddy Dr JB Lim quips as follows:

Thursday, 19 July, 2012 2:26 AM

From: lim juboo

I already told you again and again, the Jews are the most intelligent and smartest race on this planet. They were the Israelites, the chosen ones, the children of God, and protected by God everywhere. God gave them the protection, the knowledge, wisdom and strength since the world was created.

Jesus, Moses, Abraham, Isaac were all Jews. So was Albert Einstein. Almost all the Nobel Prize winners were Jews. Half of the Americans in the United States are Jews. That makes US the most powerful country in the world. Almost all the scientific discoveries and inventions the entire world uses came from the Jews. The list of famous Jews goes on, and on.

Almost all my professors at the University of London, at Cambridge, and at MIT were Jews. Their knowledge and academic standards were incredible and beyond belief. Their teachings were par excellent, and unavailable elsewhere at any other university. They were the Jews - God chosen ones.