You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
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'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man, To love and to forgive him, And for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength ....I'll just beat him to death'.
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So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'
The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we’d be riding the bus...... so shut the hell up.'