Air India

Surinder Singh's uncle was booked into an Air India flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an airplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place.

When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, 'I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don't charge me for food and drinks!'


So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, the uncle began spreading out his own home-cooked meal.

The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher and was curious about the food. 'Excuse me, what is that drink?' he asked. The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, 'Milk of India!'

Then the uncle took out several pieces of chapattis and started feasting. 'And what is that dish?' asked the curious American. 'Wheat of India!' replied the uncle proudly.

Finally, the uncle took out some desserts. He offered some to the American.

What is it?' asked the American. 'Sweets of India!' replied the old man.

After the meal, everyone was settling down when there was a loud 'pooooooooot!' sound from the uncle.

'What was that?' asked the American, holding his nose in disgust.

The old man replied coolly, 'That's Air India!'

I Love Africa!

(Courtesy of a forwarded mail from Yong Yew Koon)

I just love Africa, simple and not complicated.
We are just who we are.
No stress..
I am proud to be African.


"MyPod"

Who needs an Expensive IPod or Walkman?

"Hot water system"

... Home-made

Transportation 1 - "Toyota Co(w)rolla"
Because Petrol is Expensive, why not use a Cowrolla?


Transportation 2 - "Pick-up truck"


"Ambulance"
You are going to die before you even get to the Hospital.

This vehicle was seen near Makerere, Zimbabwe

This was photographed in Buru Buru, Nairobi, Kenya.


Human ingenuity?
Painting the swimming pool.

Public announcement............

Please send to anyone who loves Africa!

Superb Replies in Miss Universe Contest

(Courtesy of a forwarded mail)

USA

Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman.........................

(Applause! Applause!)

SPAIN

Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro (Bull)

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an opening....

(Applause! Applause!)

PHILIPPINES

Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gossip or rumours.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Philippines: Because it passes from mouth to mouth......

(Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)

SAUDI ARABIA

Question: Ms Saudi Arabia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms Saudi: Well, I can say that male organs in Saudi are like thieves.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Saudi: Because they like to enter through the back door.....

(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)

MALAYSIA

Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like Proton car.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Malaysia: Look tough but actually very soft...........................

(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! )

SINGAPORE

Question: Ms Singapore,how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms Singapore: Well, I can say that male organ in Singapore is very Kiasu (Afraid to lose).

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Singapore: It always wants to rush in quick and leave 15 minutes before the show is over.

(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)

INDIA

Question: Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms India: Well, I can say the male organs in India are like labourers.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms India: Because it works day and night......

(Applause! Applause! Applause! )

51st National Day Humour

On the auspicious eve of our 51st Merdeka Day, let us all Malaysians pray that we can soon see the emergence of capable leadership in our beloved country ..........................

Abdullah Badawi is very impressed with the quality of the ministers of Singapore.

During one of his visits to the republic, he asked Minister Mentor Lee Kwan Yew on why Singapore always has capable leaders. MM Lee replied that he would test all the politicians by asking them questions before making them ministers.

To prove his point, MM Lee called Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong into his office and asked: “Chok Tong, Who is your father’s son who is not your brother?”

Instantly, SM Goh answered: “It’s me.”

PM was very impressed. On his return to his country, he called his deputy, Najib, into his office and asked him: “Who is your father’s son who is not your brother?”

.

His deputy hesitated and informed that he would reply the next day. He went to see the smart Dr. M and asked him the same question. Instantly, Dr. M answered: “It’s me.”

.
The deputy is so happy and went to see the PM and told him: “I know the answer, it’s Dr. M.”

PM was appalled at the answer given by his deputy. He told his deputy off: “Stupid, it’s not Dr. M, it’s Goh Chok Tong!”

What A Perfect Ending!

August 24, 2008 saw the closing ceremony of the 29th Summer Olympic Games in the National Stadium, or the Bird's Nest, Beijing, capital of China. What a perfect ending of a successful Games!

This is not the END of a "truly exceptional Games", but the BEGINNING of another LONG MARCH to forge a modernized, developed and advanced nation for CHINA!

Fireworks explode above the National Stadium, or the Bird's Nest 闭幕式上燃放的焰火

Carnival of world athletes before bidding farewell to Beijing......
记忆之塔上的立体表演

演员在闭幕式上表演

Passing the Olympic flag to the next Olympic Games organizer London Mayor Boris Johnson (1st L, front) 国际奥委会主席罗格（左二）在交接仪式上挥舞奥林匹克会旗

.

London here we come in 4 years' time.....

Quotes That Make You Smile

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9.. I'm not a complete idiot - Some parts are just missing.

10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

.

15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
.

16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18.. Procrastinate Now!

19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26..Ham and eggs.A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.