Life Is Like A Train Ride

健康口诀

The Ants and The Grasshoppers Stories (3 Versions)

Older Version

An ant worked hard in the sweltering heat all summer, building its nest and laying up supplies for the winter.

A grasshopper thought the ant was stupid not knowing how to enjoy life. It spent its days laughing, singing & dancing thoroughly enjoying the summer.

Came winter, the ant was warm, comfortable and had no shortage of food. The grasshopper had no proper shelter, no stored food, and couldn't find anything to eat from the snow-covered ground. So it died and the story ended.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
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Modern Version

An ant worked hard in the sweltering heat all summer, building its nest and laying up supplies for the winter.

A grasshopper thought the ant was stupid not knowing how to enjoy life. It spent its days laughing, singing & dancing thoroughly enjoying the summer.

Came winter, the shivering grasshopper called a press conference and demanded to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while he was cold and starving.

TV1, TV2 & TV3 showed up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper alongside to a video clip of the ant in his comfortable home with a table full of food.

The majority of the Malaysian Parliamentarians were stunned by the sharp contrast. How could this poor grasshopper be allowed to suffer?

Khairy staged a demonstration in front of the ant's nest.

Nazri went on a hunger strike along with other grasshoppers demanding that they be relocated to warmer climate area during winter.

The Malaysia Government immediately passed a law forbidding all ants from working hard in the summer so as to bring about equality of poverty between ants and grasshoppers.

Hishammudin increased 'More Special Reservations' for grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services.

The ant was fined for failing to share 30% of his food with the grasshopper. The Prime Minister announced that this was part of the NEP. No ant should question it. (Don't forget, Tax Audits were introduced and targeted at certain individuals who were eventually penalised heavily for not contributing enough to the well-being of the grasshoppers).

Many years later... Some ants migrated to the US & other countries, and set up multi-billion dollar companies there.

Hundreds of grasshoppers still died of starvation despite the 'More Special Reservations'. Losing significant number of hard working ants and free loading the grasshoppers, Malaysia remained a developing country, despite its abundant natural resources. All because the remaining ANTS were still doing their work......

Latest finding showed that almost all the grasshoppers in the political arena and civil service were hoarding corrupt wealth which they refused to share with fellow grasshoppers.

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MORAL OF THE STORY : HOW TO CRISP GRASSHOPPERS WHO EAT YOUR HEART OUT!

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LATEST (VERSION 3)

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

Channels 7, 9 and 10,the ABC and SBS show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

Australia is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Acorn stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.'

Cardinal George Pell then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Prime Minister Rudd condemns the ant and blames John Howard, Robert Menzies, Capt James Cook, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.

Bob Brown exclaims in an interview on Today Tonight that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, Labor in conjunction with the Greens draft the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: You Decide in GE 13 (i.e. the 13th General Election).

I’ve posted this for your reading pleasure because I believe that you are an ant – not a grasshopper!

Do let other ants know about this. Don’t bother telling any grasshoppers because they wouldn’t understand it, anyway.

An Amazing Sore Throat Remedy

This simple home remedy has worked 100% of the time for anyone that has tried it. Instead of suffering with a sore throat for a week or more, you can drive it away immediately, sometimes in less than a day. However, this remedy is not medical advice; it is a shared experience that really works!

The most common sore throat remedies for sore throat are usually over-the-counter sprays, lozenges and pastilles that are ineffective and smelly. The most common doctor-prescribed remedies are antibiotics, which take time to obtain, cost money and can have many negative side effects.

Most often, people waste time waiting while trying to figure out whether or not they really have a sore throat. By the time they realize they do have a sore throat, it's usually to the point that they are already suffering from serious sore throat pain, can barely speak, swallow or even eat.

This remedy is salt, and not just about gargling saltwater, it is actually about using common table salt as it is.

What you have to do is: tilt your head backwards and shake a little bit of salt straight into the back of your throat. Make sure you shake it straight into your throat, onto the base of your tongue and not over the middle or the tip your tongue (this way you will not suffer from any unpleasant taste). After that, do not swallow your saliva, just let the salt dissolve right there on the back of your throat, letting the salt stay there for as long as you possibly can. If you're using a salt shaker, shake 2 to 6 times depending how bad your sore throat is. If you're using a fast food style paper saltshaker, you should shake about 1/4 of the packet directly into your throat.

Also highly suggested, is to shake an even larger amount of salt into your throat right before you go to sleep for the night. During your sleep, without food or drink, bacteria thrive without any interruption to incubation and growth. Therefore, using salt while you are asleep can be extremely effective. Keep a salt shaker near your bed. If you wake up in the middle of the night feeling sore, you can shake some more salt into your throat.

Salt is a very old remedy that kills bacteria. In the old days they traditionally used salt to preserve meat and fish. Why? Because salt attracts water and attacks the bacteria cell walls, causing the bacteria to dehydrate and self-destruct in the process.

If your sore throat is really severe you can use salt as often as every 30 minutes. Use it as soon as you feel the first symptoms of a sore throat and the earlier you use it, the faster you’ll get rid of that sore throat.

Salt is available nearly everywhere. You can stop in to any fast food place on any street and grab some. Don’t wait around trying to figure out whether or not your sore throat is serious. Instead you can use this quick sore throat cure. As soon as you feel the first signs of a sore throat, use the salt immediately. Gargling salt water is not nearly as effective since the concentration of salt is not high enough to take care of the problem. Also, gargling water requires a cup of water and the time to dissolve the salt in it, yet more inconvenience that makes you wait for relief.

Not all sore throats are the result of a bacteria infection. Sometimes the cause is a virus, commonly known as influenza virus. Many times your sore throat starts as a viral infection which develops into a bacterial infection. Salt is intended to fight only the bacteria, not the virus. Therefore salt might not be totally effective if you are suffering from a viral throat infection. Nevertheless, you really have nothing to lose by using salt. According to experience, salt can be extremely effective in most all cases, depending on the cause of your sore throat.

A sore throat is also often the first stage of a common cold, also known as the Flu. First to arrive is the sore throat, followed by nasal congestion and coughing. If you can take care of it fast, you won't wear down your immune system fighting the sore throat and your immune system has more energy to fight the other cold symptoms. Therefore, using salt could also shorten the total duration of suffering from the common cold.

The Shoe Box

A man and a woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents.

'When we were to be married,' she said, ' my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that If I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'

'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'

十一个笑话十一个道理