2012 Blessing 祝福

What "MISTAKES" Are Actually Meant

If a barber makes a mistake,
It's a

If a driver makes a mistake,
It is a
New path

If an engineer makes a mistake,
It is a

If parents makes a mistake,
It is a

If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a

If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a

If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a

If a teacher makes a mistake,
It is a

If our boss makes a mistake,
It is a
New idea


If an employee makes a mistake,
It is a
'Mistake'
No argument, please!
.
Long piak! (Banging against the wall)

(Courtesy of forwarded mail from Chan Chun Mun)

中文萬歲

一美女興致勃勃地問醫生：「我想豐胸，但是豐胸後會有什麼效果？」

醫生淡定地答道：「豐胸後，一般會有四種結果：

1. 大不一樣；

2. 不大一樣；

3. 一樣不大；

4. 不一樣大！」

世界上沒有其他的文字能夠有這樣的功能，中文萬歲！！！

〈中文字的奧妙〉

外國人學中文，確實不容易。
.

中文字的奧妙，常常讓學中文的老外暈倒，說幾個聽來的段子：

一、方便

一位剛學過一點中文的美國人來到中國，中國朋友請他吃飯。

到了飯店落座，中國朋友說：「對不起，我去方便一下。」

那老外沒聽明白，「方便」是哪裡？

見老外疑惑，中國朋友告訴他說「方便」，口語裡是「上廁所」的意思。

.

 哦，老外意會了。

席間，中國朋友對老外說：「我下次到美國，希望你能幫忙提供些方便。」
.

老外納悶了：他去美國，讓我提供些廁所幹嗎？

道別時，另一位在座的中國朋友熱情地對老外說：「我想在你方便的時候請你吃飯。」

見老外驚訝發愣，中國朋友接著說：「如果你最近不方便的話，咱們改日……」

老外無語。

「咱找個你我都方便的時候一起吃飯吧。」

老外隨即暈了。

二、乳

一位老師向老外學生解釋「乳」字的含義：乳即是小的意思，比如乳鴿、乳豬等。

講解完，老師要求老外學生用「乳」字造句。

老外學生造句說：「現在房價太高了，所以我家只能買得起20平方米的乳房。」

老師聽了，冒著冷汗說：「再造一個！」

老外學生：「我年紀太小，連一米寬的乳溝都跳不過去。」

老師冷汗如雨下，說：「再造一個！」

老外學生說：「老師我真的想不出來了，我的乳頭都快想破了！」

三、意思

某老外苦學漢語10年，到中國參加漢語考試。

試題之一：

請解釋下文中每個「意思」的意思：

阿呆給領導送紅包時，兩個人的對話頗有意思。

領導：「你這是甚麼意思？」

阿呆：「沒甚麼意思，意思意思而已。」

領導：「你這就不夠意思了。」

阿呆：「小意思，小意思。」

領導：「你這人真有意思。」

阿呆：「其實也沒有別的意思。」

領導：「那我就不好意思了。」

阿呆：「是我不好意思。」

這老外聽了，一頭霧水。
.
 中文的「意思」太深奧了，於是他交白卷回國。

(Courtesy of forwarded mail from Lim Soo Lian)

非常有效的治咳秘方

材料~~1.桑叶 2.枇杷叶 3.麦芽糖

以上材料请至中药房购买，一帖桑叶和枇杷叶各半〈1：1〉合计约50元

做法~~

1.将叶子清洗干净后加三碗水煮至剩一碗

2.喝时趁热加入适量麦芽糖~温热饮用
3.煮过的材料亦可再煮第二次

桑 叶： 味甘、微苦，性寒，入肺、肝经，功能疏散风热、清肺止咳、平肝明目。

枇杷叶：清肺和胃，降气化痰。治肺热痰咳，咳血，衄血，胃热呕哕。(资料引用：行政院卫生署中医药委员会〉

麦芽糖：作为医学上的营养料，可用作养颜、补脾益气、润肺止咳、缓急止痛、滋润内脏、开胃除烦、通便秘等，主治脾胃虚弱、气短乏力、纳食减少、虚寒腹痛、肺燥咳嗽、乾咳少痰、咽痛。〈资料引用：维基百科〉

桑叶、枇杷叶都是天然的植物，而且所结的果实都非常甜美，放心~叶子也不会难喝。麦芽糖就更不用说了，用饼干夹著吃可是许多人童年最美好的甜食呢，这帖秘方不仅有效又好喝，连小孩都能轻易接受。

注~此方依据个人经验~必须是单纯感冒咳嗽或气管受凉咳嗽最有效，生病仍应接受医生诊断喔。

(出处: http://www.wretch.cc/blog/florayu/10863043 )

I've Learned ......

If you will take the time to read these. I promise you'll come away with an enlightened perspective. The subjects covered affect us all on a daily basis.  They're written by Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words.

(Andrew Aitken "Andy" Rooney (January 14, 1919 – November 4, 2011) was an American radio and television writer. He was most notable for his weekly broadcast "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney," a part of the CBS News program 60 Minutes from 1978 to 2011. His final regular appearance on 60 Minutes aired October 2, 2011. He died one month later, on November 4, 2011, at age 92.)

I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

 

I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned.... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile..

I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned..... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned..... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

The Wonder of Catholic School

Until a child tells you what they are thinking, we can't even begin to imagine how their mind is working....

Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything...tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math.

Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying.

Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner.

To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before.
.

This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference.

Finally, little Zachary brought home his report Card.. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, His Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, little Zachary got an 'A' in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, 'Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?'

Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no. 'Well, then,' she replied, ‘Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT?'
.

Little Zachary looked at her and said, 'Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.'

(Courtesy of forwarded mail from Annie Lee)

T.G.I.F. & S.H.I.T.

英語裡有一個縮寫叫T.G.I.F.全文是「Thank God It's Friday！」（感謝主！又到了星期五），充分反應了周休二日到了星期五的愉快心情。

有一對陌生男女在電梯見面，女生十分大方，主動對男子說：「T.G.I.F. ！」

那男生也禮尚往來，笑容可掬地回應:「S.H.I.T.！」

女生一聽臉色大變，非常生氣，並道：「我滿心誠意對你說 Thank God It's Friday，你竟然不知好歹罵我髒話Shit？」

男子聽了，笑容依舊不變，解釋道：「小姐，不要那麼激動嘛，我的意思是.....

“Sweet Heart It's Thursday”! (甜心, 今天是星期四)」

你後悔什麽？

(Courtesy of forwarded mail from Lee Ken Chong)